our bloc apartment building
I have never been an
amazing speaker by any means, but until I starting trying to preach in Romanian
I had never had people in a church snickering at me because of language
mistakes. The more time I spend with
Roma and Romanians the more different I realize I am. The interesting thing is the harder I try to
become more fluent in the language and spend time with nationals the more different
I feel. As I become more fluent in the
language I get put in more difficult language situations that stretch me. As I pursue more friendships I get put into
more completely foreign situations to me.
Trying to learn a new
culture and integrate into it, to use an illustration from the move Shrek, is
like an onion. There are layers after
layers of discomfort. You get through
one layer only to find that you are experiencing the shock of the culture on a
deeper level now.
There is great excitement
and joy in being a missionary. Living in
a different country, learning a new language and eating different food are all
exciting. Yet all of them wear on you after
a while. Once the excitement wears off
all the fun things become uncomfortable things.
Because of language and culture barriers it becomes easy to never really
feel connected in relationships with nationals.
It is like there is an invisible wall between you and them that keeps
you from truly understanding each other.
Many a experienced missionary told me before I moved here to guard my
heart to not become embittered against nationals. The path from seeing their culture as
different to BAD can be subtle but quick.
I am grateful for this advice because I fear without it I would have
gone own that path already.
So this is where I find
myself today. Feeling different. Feeling uncomfortably stretched. Missing the comfort of America. Missing friends. Missing home.
But, praise God that we have a better home waiting for us with the Lord
and we can be confident that our obedience to Him will not be for vain.
Hebrews 13:14
For this world is not our permanent home;
we are looking forward to a home yet to come.